homesick

feel so pathetic right now. i don't even know but i'm sitting here in my room, fckin crying. are you kidding me !? it might be this weather but i just feel like shit. I need to write this essay but i can't even focus! skyped my bestfriend but not for very long because i didn't wanna start crying in front of her and called my sister but she could hear right through it. I miss home and i can't focus. WTF

Be OK

wow, well judging from my last post, I must have been really sad. well, I probably was. But now I think I'm feeling a lot better. It didn't take much time LOL. I'm finally getting used to this college life. It's hard being away from my family (even though it is only like an hour and a half away). My first weekend away wasn't too bad. My brother did come up and surprised me :D. Partied it up B-HAM style. Hopefully, I'll grow to love it even more as time goes on. For now, my goal is to just have and not give a flying fck. Reading that last post was kinda depressing haha. Why do I need someone else? LAAAWLZ , don't like to get tied down anyway.

empty bottle

Lately, I've been feeling sad. I don't know why. I just feel empty like something's missing in my life. Maybe it's just a phase from moving out and being somewhat far from home. But I think it's also wanting someone to be with. I've never really felt this way but for some reason, right now, I just kinda want to go on dates. I want someone to care about me and someone that I'll care about too. It doesn't need to be a super intense relationship.. it doesn't even have to be labeled as a relationship, as long as we both know not to date others. Truth is, I don't actually know what I want.. I'm just rambling on/venting whatever. I may be a little mentally unstable, probably not. But anyway truth is i don't think I like labeling things and having that 'commitment' feeling. I know that once I start talking to someone I won't talk to others.. this post is all over the place.. gonna stop now. this is a horrible post. maybe i'll fix  it later once i've gathered my thoughts. 

All love

"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers all wrongs." Proverbs 10:12

bro

After years and years of fighting, my brother and I finally have a good relationship. I know it was normal that we always fought when we were younger because that's what siblings do but I hated it. I'm really glad now that we get along and we show that we care about each other more. A part of the reason why I didn't wanna leave was because I'm afraid that things will change and that when I come back things will different again. Who's to say that it won't change but I know that he's my brother and he's always gonna be my brother. We may not show it all the time but I know that we both care about each other.

change

                                                                          college life.