deadbeat

i don’t need a father in my life when i’ve got brothers that care. no matter how much we fight i know i can always count on them. the only men that ever stuck with me.

so fck you dad b/c you missed out on great kids ! & your occasional “how’re you doing?” on facebook chat doesn’t count as trying. don’t mean shit.

bittersweet

reading through my yearbook
& this is probably one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said about me ..

“First of all, I want you to know that you’re an inspiration. As you know, I love how head-strong you are. You tolerate no bullshit whatsoever. And you’re honestly one of the few who knows what they’re doing. Above all, you really know how to partaay! With all of that said.. and your banging body & sparkling eyes, I really don’t understand how you’re still single OH YEA cos you’re too good for these little high school boyz. You’re only worthy of a MAN. I’m not exaggerating at all. This is it. I cannot stress that enough. I’m so sad right now as I write this. Don’t change, Rozelle ever. I’m going to miss you. Thank you for all the memories. Tennis won’t be the same. Have fun in college! You’ve come so far.”

Don't look back

speech was spelled wrong.. LOOOOL

who woulda thought that I would be speaking in front of everyone for graduation? what an experience!

new soul

Time for a change. 2011 seems like to be big year. graduation, the big 18, college, moving out, and HARRY POTTER ending.. i feel like it's time for a change. why not go all out, well kinda all out haha. got a new hairstyle, which will take me a while to get used to. I look so different.. he said i look different.. in a good way. so i guess it's a good thing. I like it but i don't like change so this will take some time to get use to. I also got a white feather and purple highlights. i'm thinking of going back to get more feathers.

stumbled upon

 I remember a few months ago during tennis when a couple of the girls were so heartbroken that someone ‘tumblr famous’ died and i didn’t know her. I thought it was silly that they were so affected by her death b/c they didn’t even know her personally and all that.. but now i realize you don’t have to personally know someone to be inspired or affected. She made such a positive impact on people, it’s amazing. She was so young, yet, she’s known by thousands of teenagers through tumblr and her words. She’s an inspiration and she’s made an impact on people, most likely, w/o even meaning to. She’s made an impact by being her. Months later after her death, people who doesn’t even know her still make videos and keep her in their hearts. I give her respect. She’s made a difference. I may not know her personally but likewise i wanna be remembered when i die. I don’t just wanna be ‘that girl that died’. I wanna make a difference; an impact on someone, just like she did. It doesn’t have to be a difference in the world or an impact on EVERYONE but on enough people and gain enough respect from people, yah know ? I don’t want it to be just ‘oh, that girl, she died?’, i want people to know me by name and know that I was important to someone’s life, that I was a somebody in someone’s life.

http://youtu.be/s_UwHQXaoRY

nostalgia

i miss the way things used to be. as close as my family is now, i miss how close we all used to really be. taking vacations together and having a great time spending time .. not in the restaurant. i just miss how everything was before.

"Love all, trust few, and do wrong to none."

be ok

i just wanna be okay ..
lately i've been feeling down,
it's summer and i shouldn't be feeling like this , it's sad and depressing.
i feel a crappy summer coming on and this really sucks.
i feel like all i do is work and i don't even really get paid for the amount of hours i actually work.
i know this sounds like a complain but i'm really not. i love my family and i love helping out but sometimes i feel like i need a break. constantly working 10hour shifts day after day. it gets tiring. but i guess there's not really much i can do.

static waves

once again , those occasional breakdowns hit me.
WTF am i doing with my life? the feeling of being  lost and wanting to be found. random scattered thoughts. restless brain. who am i ? i constantly ask myself, what is my purpose in life. i don't know yet.
i hate this awkward stage that i'm at right now. i graduated but i'm only 17 .. though i'm turning 18 soon but i still don't think much will change. i hate this feeling of in-between. i'm old enough to do certain things but at he same time i'm not an adult ..it's the awkward stage between being a kid and being an adult. safe to say that i don't know what the fck i'm doing.