Dear Rozelle,

here’s a daily mindset for you…
love your body, your height;
your cellulite,
your huge calves & thighs,
love your thick, uneven eyebrows,
your stretch marks,
love your big arms (kinda),
your not so flat stomach.

love your ability to make decisions using your head rather than the heart,
your bluntness and straight to the point comments,
love your (almost) non-existent sense of humor.

love your hard-headedness,
love your analytical mind,
your ability to care, even if you care too much, sometimes
the way you care enough to let things get to you, even the little things
your literal, explicit, and logical way of thinking.

love your dysfunctional and bruised heart,
love your obnoxiously loud laugh,
your awkwardness & your (somewhat) shy personality,
love your indecisiveness.

ETC. love you. love your flaws.

FLAWS are admirable.. YOUR flaws are admirable.

it’s what makes you YOU.

be okay

i’ve been trying to study for the past hour or so & i still have not done anything. all i can think about are really stupid things so i decided i’m gonna blog instead. maybe after typing it out i can study. i’ve realized that it’s hard for me to let things go. I used to think that i was the kind of person that didn’t really care about anything but lately i’ve come to the conclusion that i only made myself think that i was that kind of person. in reality, i care too much. i can’t let things go unless it was settled. & it’s been a month since it happened and somehow i still can’t let it go. it’s not even because it’s him, it’s because the situation was never acknowledged and that makes me mad. it makes me feel really uneasy. it’s really awesome knowing that you don’t care or bother enough to even to just say something. i can’t think. i need to study. this post is stupid. bye

I'm attracted to guys that look like assholes

Those guys that have that douchebag swag.. Haha I don’t know why . I just hope they don’t act that way except most of the time they turn out to be .

routine

recently, i realized how tired i am of my life right now. it’s a good life but i feel like it’s the same thing over and over again. i’m stuck doing this boring routine everyday. everyday i wake up, get ready, go to classes, eat, chill/study, work out, eat, study/chill, sleep. EVERYDAY, the same thing.. i even eat at the same time and work out at the same time for the most part. I feel like there’s no excitement. being stuck in this campus makes me feel excluded from the outside world. i know i can leave off campus but i feel like this is a small town and there’s nothing really more to do but i just feel trapped, almost. I need something new in my life, something or someone new and exciting. this feeling’s taking over and the only way i know to cope with it is to work out, people think i’m borderline addicted. blah blah blah. i know i say i hate change, and i do hate change but i think i wouldn’t mind if i break out of this routine and try something new.

but let me just say

it's really an awesome feeling telling someone how you feel and they don't even bother to respond. wow, now i know.

whoa,

looking back on some of these old posts make me feel kinda stupid and really angry. i had a right to be angry but some of these posts are almost really not necessary. i'm glad i blog instead of say things out loud that could really hurt other people.

don't get bitter, get better.

always fall for your type, the asshole type.

swelling rage

maybe next time you should make sure i don’t find out or maybe next time don’t lie about sending me a text. i’m not even mad that you’re with someone else now, i’m mad that you didn’t even have the decency to let me know. it’s the least you could do. but hey maybe it’s not your fault. maybe i’m actually just really attracted to assholes. so tired of guys leading girls on and then easily moving onto someone else. oh but wait, is it because i don’t put out enough ? i’m sorry i’m not a whorebag .

no, sex is not what i want, we don't have to do that

BULLSHIT

because when you found someone who would put out, that’s exactly what you did. thanks for wasting my time & proving to me once again that all guys are assholes & you’re not any different. stick to one girl, my ass

transferring some personal posts from tumblr to here

in repair

a lot of the time, i put up a tough front. i don’t want people to see my weakness. i act like i don’t care. i act like things don’t bother me. but in reality, i care TOO much. i let things get to me. i don’t forget things. i can’t let things go until it’s settled or confronted, talked about. i can’t just let things go, except it’s hard for me to confront people. so instead i don’t do anything, act like i don’t care. even when it’s eating me up inside because i care THAT much. it’s my weakness. i’m afraid of what people will say or how people will react so i don’t let people know what i think or how i feel. it’s my fault. i feel this way because i put myself in this situation, it’s my stubborn way that i won’t ever change.

sunday night

i realized i don't know what i want. I have this generic ideas for my future that everyone wants. but how am i gonna get what i want if i don't even really know what i want. my mind is full of random thoughts tonight. full of things like how i think i care too much but i don't care enough to show it. I constantly act like i don't care when in reality i really do care. i think it's something we all want. it's human nature to want to be loved or wanted by someone. but there are always those assholes that make you feel special and suddenly decide with no explanations that they don't wanna talk to you anymore. but it's funny because it's the assholes like that that we usually fall for, assholes are just kind of my thing i guess haha. we find one good guy and it's hard for us to like them like that but with the guys you should stay away from, we fall the hardest for. this is a post full of nonsense just some thoughts. really random thoughts. sucks to be sick