"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."

senior year

overwhelming.
i thought i had it all figured out but as it gets closer and closer i get more and more afraid. first quarter's already done and i just know the rest of the year is gonna go by even faster..

i guess i dont really know what i want in the future

i just know i don't want to be alone.. which frankly, is not working out very well right now. good thing it's not the future yet.

love is what we were born with

"Cinderella walked on broken glass, sleeping beauty let a lifetime pass, belle fell in love with a beast, princess jasmine chose a common thief, ariel walked on land for love, snow white barely escaped the knife, it was all about blood, sweat, and tears because love means facing your biggest fears, we come to love not finding a person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

here we go again.

don't just tell me you care, show me you do .

What if I'm not who you think I am?

to save a life.

it's been quite a while. with work, school, stress... once again i feel like i'm just coasting along. i need to find that motivation again. but i'm tired. i'm tired of being nice, i wanna think of myself for once but is it right if i hurt someone along the way..

Am I making the right decisions?

how do we know what's right in life? who's to judge whether you're right or wrong? it's not a math problem where you can solve an equation and find a right or wrong answer.. so how do we know when we're doing the right thing?...

Its so easy to believe someone when they tell you exactly what you want to hear...

until their actions don't show it and you end up hurting. You even feel stupid for having believed it in the first place.

Everyone sees who I appear to be But only a few know the real me You only see what I choose to show.

Isn't that always the case? Why do we hide ourselves from other people. Why do we hide part of who we are and what makes us who we are from people. Why do we build walls? Is it to keep people out or is it to see who actually cares enough to break them down? Maybe it's t protect ourselves from getting hurt.. for now? bothings permanent, I think eventually we all get hurt. So why do we do it? Is it cos it's easier? but what happens in the long run? Don't we fee that the thing we try to avoid will still happen? I guess it's just easier to try and hide behind to prevent getting hurt than giving someone outright the ability to hurt us, huh.

sometimes it's easier to hide behind smiles.

but subconsciously, we all wonder if anyone will notice what's behind this smile

Grow up, you have no other choice.

You got spunk you got spark

The devil never wins unless you don't fight.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

We should all laugh a little more.

"all our dreams can come true if we had the courage to pursue them."

"no one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky."

Pain is love

Life is short, make the most out if it. You never know when it'll be taken away.

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people who are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."

You can't change the past, you can only learn from it.

hate bad days.

why do we care so much when you know someone is mad at you even though you know it's not your fault.. maybe that's why? is it because they shouldn't be mad at you. but why am i so upset? people knew i had commitments and i hate that people think i can easily change those so that their life can be a little bit easier. it may sound mean but i feel like i cant do half the things i need to do because im constantly doing something for someone else. i know they care a lot about me but ugh i feel like my life has to revolve around them. maybe its the other way, maybe im being self centered? i dont know but today i had plans and commitments i needed to do but it was so easy for other people to just be like oh its fine you dont need to. i dont even think im upset so much because now shes mad at me for not being there, im upset because i made a commitment and i failed to follow through with it. i hate that! i hate not being able to follow through with it. its not like i even wanted to go to it, it was the fact that i was supposed to be there, i had to be there. whatever, not that i can do anything about it now.

sometimes i wonder if you even care...

Plan your work and work your plan.

"a dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work."

"you always have to focus in life on what you want to achieve."

"it is enough to be busy... The question is: what are we busy about?"

"We are pressed on every side, yet not crushed; perplexed, yet not to despair; pursued, yet not forsaken; struck down, yet not destroyed..." 2nd Corinthians 4:8-9

It is the rough road that leads to the height of greatness.

Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith...not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

"What a frightening thing the human is, a mass of gauges and dials and registers, and we can read only a few and those perhaps not accurately."

"We all live in a house of fire. No fire department to call, no way out. Just the upstairs window to look out of, while the fire burns the house down with us trapped, locked in it."

Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19

“"During your life, never stop dreaming. No one can take away your dreams”

"People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges." If you hold back feelings because you're afraid of being hurt, you end up hurting anyway"

"absence makes the heart grow fonder."

& I do, I really miss you.

I want you!

for perfectionists

What happens if perfection isn't so perfect anymore?

"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."

"in order to success you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time."

learning from other people's mistakes never work b/c you don't actually know what it feels like until you're in the same shoe.

"tough times never last, tough people do,"

"all the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on"

"what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matter compared to what lies within us."

"I must live by myself alone; but i know well taht God is nearer to me than others in my art, so i will walk fearlessly with Him."

"forgiveness is the final form of love."

"he who angers you, conquers you."

"we don't love to be loved, we love to love."

"People come, people go – they’ll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past."

People always leave but it opens the door for others and gives them an opportunity to know you and be a part of your life. Though I wonder, why do people have to leave?
I suppose new adventures means new people to experience it with but why can't the old people stay and experience it with you?  do they leave so you can forget about the past? what if i dont want to forget about my past? i thought your past shaped you for the person you are now...?

"You have a choice. It may not be a choice you like, but it is still a choice."

Its what you decide to do withthat choice and your attitude toward it that'll make a change.

"Our scars have the power to remind us that the past was real."

but its the past, forget about it. Sometimes it's not always where you're from, it's where you're going and how far you're willing to take yourself.

chasing the daylight

Some say my faith is like wings made of wax
That it won't last that I'm wasting my time
But have they ever felt a love like this
Grace like a gentle kiss beauty so divine

I was a soul
Stranded in bones before you
I was a dream too afraid to dream without you
But now

I want to chase the daylight
Like it's the last day of my life
I want to run
Hide myself in the sun and feel all these fears
Melt away
And I will never look back no I will never look back
I'm gonna live this life
Chasing the daylight

Chasing you, Lord

There's still arrows in my heart
There's still times I fall apart
And all I am left with are why's
But then your love falls like a heavy rain
And I don't feel the pain
When you're by my side

So open up the sky
And open up my eyes
Open up the sky tonight

"my dreams are who i'm racing with, you can see i'm pacin it so that i'm always chasin it"

‎"your dreams are your paints, the world is your canvas & believing is the brush that converts your dreams into a masterpiece of reality."

‎"Getting over painful experiences are like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."

 

unless you let go, you'll never get to the next step. you'll miss out on what's waiting ahead of you. you'll miss the experience, the rush,.. that feeling of accomplishment.

"You know it's been said that we just don't recognize the significant moments of our lives while they are happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you've realized how wrong you've been that you realized how much you need it, how much you love it"

You never really understand a person until you see his point from his point of view

Which I think is why you can't say 'I understand' or 'I know how you feel' because you don't, you're never gonna know unless you're me. You can say 'I have an idea of how you're feeling' but never 'I know'.

Let me

Let me leave before someone else does. I know I'll always come back. I just want the option. Please let me leave.

Family makes the world a safer place to live.

"hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones."

The worst feeling is losing something you never had to begin with.

"don't worry about losing; if it's right, it happens- the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away."

"giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it just means you are strong enough to let go."

It's just life.

"Every song has a CODA, a final movement. Whether it fades out or crashes away. Every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy the music? The truth is, there is nothing to be afraid of. It's just life"

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes -- all you need is one"

Hah but usually that one person you need is not there...

"Life's better---money, popularity, fame---we ignore what truly matter--the simple things-- like friendship, family, love--the things we probably already had."

We live in a selfish world.

Everyday we wait for things we know will never come but we keep hoping. We forget and take advantage of everything we already have.

"why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good bye."

but I guess maybe just maybe they'll come back then saying goodbye wouldn't be so hard cos you know they're coming back.

"life is the art of drawing without an eraser."

It's actions, not words, that matter.

"memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the way you are, the things you never want to lose."

"to belittle is to be little."

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

“Impossible only means that you haven't found the solution yet.”

“We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be”

but I know He has a reason and timing for everything.

“Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.”

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be?...

 You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”

Either way you're gonna wonder and either way you're gonna get hurt, so isn't it better to keep it to yourself, wonder, and save yourself from the embarrassment.

"They say that the first love is the sweetest but the first cut is the deepest."

does that mean it's best to not love to avoid the pain?

Better late than never but never late is better.

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

We all need to learn how to let down our walls... though it's hard. It's something we're all constantly working on.

"To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are."

This is Me.

This is who I am.

I will not change who I am for someone else. I want someone to want and love me the way I am, not for who I can be. Take me as I am.

WaFaRa '10

"I'm so unworthy but still You love me. Forever my heart will sing of how great You are..."

Please don't leave me.

"life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small children, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential and fight for your dreams."

"sometimes we have to choose between what is right and what is easy."

"don't ask what the world needs. ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

People try so hard to please others because it makes them feel good but really all you need is to make yourself happy. You can't please others until you're happy. Learn to put yourself before others. Easy to say but a lot harder to do. People get so used to trying to make other people happy. I think we all struggle with it, we all struggle with putting ourselves before others.

"YOU are the center of YOUR universe. YOU can make anything happen."

"when I fall, I know where I'll be landing. When I fall, You will still be standing."

God, you give me that strength.. The strength to get back up.

The yellow tarp.

Everyone has a time in their life where everything just went wrong, a situation in your life where that something turned everything in your life around, your whole life changed. It's something drastic like that that leaves a scar and it's that part of your life that you always try to hide. It's something you cover with a yellow tarp to prevent people from finding out. What's under your yellow tarp?

The sweetest things in life are better when it's shared.

People get so used to bottling up their feelings all the time. People are always so afraid to trust someone enough to break down walls and let someone in.

WaFaRa '10

A week later and I am home. As sad as I was to go home I am also to be home. I am so happy to be given the opportunity to lead a great group of girls at camp. Goin into this I was so nervous but God calmed me down. He gave wisdom an strength throughout the whole week. The experience was definitely unforgettable. I learned so much about myself, God, and my girls. It was a learning experience. I wasn't just there to lead, i was there to experience things with my girls, too. I learned so much about their pasts and what they've gne through. I learned that we all have so much in common, we just have different ways of dealing with it & we are all so dang good at hiding it.

God lead my life. Give me a sense of directon. Tell me everything will be okay. Give me strength & wisdom.

"Life is not safe. It was never meant to be. When we try to make it safe, we go against the purposes of God and we remove ourselves from any influence we might have for bad or good in the world."

Three things.

To love God, yourself, & others.

Stranger Than Fiction.

i wonder what character i am in someone else's book. is it a tragedy or is it a comedy? am i a hero or a villain? as days pass, we wonder who's narrating for us.

"it's actions, not words, that matter."

"Everybody needs their own freedom to make their own mistakes."

YOU!

I want you to want me. Doesn't everyone wanna feel like that. Doesn't everyone want to be missed just as much as you miss another person , if not, even more? I wonder if you think about me too. I wonder if everything you said was true.

"and we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties which we assume only accesorize our days, are in fact here for a much larger and nobler cause... They are here to save our lives."

It's the little things in life that matter most.

Best friend: someone with whom One shares the strongest possible friendship.

how do you know when someone is your best friend ? People always leave and once they leave, they're gone and out. They don't come back and they don't care. Not only that, it's not easy to find someone you can trust. People no matter what will dissapoint you. Isn't it better to be your own bestfriend? That way there's no dissapointments. I am my own bestfriend & I think I'm okay with that.

love me hate me I don't care

oh but wait, I do care. don't we all?

nostalgia.

i miss being little when everything didn't matter and the only thing I had to worry about was which toy I was gonna play with next. What happened to the good 'ol days when things didn't matter? "life was so much easier when boys had cooties, scraped Knees were the only things to make you cry, and every problem was solved by eeniemineemos" oh how things quickly change..

expectations.

no one's perfect. i know that.. I know you know that. you always tell me no one is perfect but your expectations meet the criteria of 'perfect'. I would hate to dissapoint you. I hope you know that. but I can't do everything you want me to do. but I do promise to do my best to make you happy I just hope you understand I can't do it all & don't be upset.

"The only things in life we regret are the risks we didn't take."

I would much rather jump & fall than to have never jumped in the first place.

"I believe in Christ like I believe in the sun, not just because I can see it, but because by it I can see everything else."

"no distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are throughly pursuaded of each other's worth."-Robert Southey

I just miss you.. & I wonder if you feel the same way..

"Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense"

LOVE (noun): To have strong affection for another.
the dictionary has a definition but what does it really mean ? Some say "oh I just know" really ? I think nowadays, it's lost it's true meaning. Simply because people are so used to throwing that word around. If hate is such a strong word & it shouldn't be tossed around , why do we toss around love like it's nothing? What makes it different ? Is it because it's positive as opposed to saying 'i hate you'? the most complicated 4 letter word I know to exist. I do know I love GOD & my family. Haha I love shoes & food.

"Only by going too far can one possibly find out how far one can go."

NO limits. Not even the sky; there's footprints on the moon.

oh those summer nights ..

..when you're the one I'm thinking of.

"You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love

Definitely easier said than done.

"Everybody needs their own freedom to make their own mistakes. Learn on their own."

I think I'll come back. As much as I want to leave I know I'll come back. I only want to leave to experience it for myself. I was always told to learn from other peoples' mistakes but the stubborn person that I am wants to learn and go through it myself. It'll be more meaningful to experience it myself, right? I want to feel like I'm living my life, right now, most of the time, I feel like I'm not... I'm not stupid I know better. You've raised me well and I understand maybe it's not me that you don't trust, it's the other people, but I hope you trust that I will make the right decisions or smart decisions. I need to experience life for myself and not through other people...

"Stepping up. It's a simple concept. It basically means to rise above yourself; to do a little more, to show you something special." OTH

Stepping up, as good as it feels to step up and know that you're helping out, sometimes it makes me feel like I'm growing up too fast. I love to be the one stepping up, helping out, and doing things but it gets tiring. As much as I wanne 'grow up' & be 'independent' I wanna be a kid too. Live life like there's no tomorrow & be a teenager. Sometimes I feel like I was forced to grow up so fast which, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful because now I know I can make it out there. But sometimes I feel so restricted like I can't do anything, 'sky' is definitely not the 'limit' for me.
I have come to the conclusion that I wanna leave & get away so bad because I can be free. I'll be able to do whatever I want whenever I want, selfish I know...

"If you've never been thrilled to the very edges of your soul by a flower in spring bloom, maybe your soul has never been in bloom."-Terri Guillemets

"If you don't like something , change it . If you can't change it , change your attitude."-Maya Angelou

People should learn to stop complaining when things they want don't happen or when things doesn't always go their way. Learn to change your attitude. Things will be a lot easier in your life if people learn to have a positive attitude about things. That doesn't mean you should always be "happy go-lucky" but if you can't change the situation, you shod learn to change your attitude. Don't complain, it's annoying.

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood."-Marie Curie

After all it's just life.