sunday night

i realized i don't know what i want. I have this generic ideas for my future that everyone wants. but how am i gonna get what i want if i don't even really know what i want. my mind is full of random thoughts tonight. full of things like how i think i care too much but i don't care enough to show it. I constantly act like i don't care when in reality i really do care. i think it's something we all want. it's human nature to want to be loved or wanted by someone. but there are always those assholes that make you feel special and suddenly decide with no explanations that they don't wanna talk to you anymore. but it's funny because it's the assholes like that that we usually fall for, assholes are just kind of my thing i guess haha. we find one good guy and it's hard for us to like them like that but with the guys you should stay away from, we fall the hardest for. this is a post full of nonsense just some thoughts. really random thoughts. sucks to be sick