as i come to my senses

i realize i must say goodbye to my first choice, SDSU. it makes it so much harder just because i know i got in and i was good enough. I really wanna go there and it's my first choice but being out of state, it's so much more expensive. i think i would rather be more debt free in the end than have the university experience at SDSU. as hard of a decision that was for me, i think i had to do it. even going to western.. i might not. i never thought i'd say this but i'm actually more open to going to shoreline cc. it's cheaper and i know i won't have to pay anything back. i'd still be living at home so i won't need to pay for rent and food. not that bad.. but that freedom and university experience is so much more appealing. i don't know. but is it worth it? i guess i'll still have my freedom at home b/c i can do whatever but there's still that feeling of constraint. maybe i'll go to shoreline cc or some cc near by then transfer to SDSU or UW assuming i get in. aaahh this is so hard for me. i've always wanted to go to a university..